sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
