you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
