I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
