does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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