i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize