i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
