Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
