So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
this hospital has no fireball
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
