I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
