Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
