I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
