I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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