at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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