He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
