I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
