Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
