If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
