So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize