you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
