Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
