omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
