he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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