we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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