did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize