He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
