thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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