Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
