I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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