Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
two words...techno handjob
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
