Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
