You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
