wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
