yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
