When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
