But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
