how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
