belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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