How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
