Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
