Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize