the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize