Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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