Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
