her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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