somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
