So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
