she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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