Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
