Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
