just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
