I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize