i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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