I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
