Your tits are I can't wait for
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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