My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
