i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize