anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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