Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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