I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
