Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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