Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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