dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
