you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
