Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
