i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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