good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know her cup size but not her name....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
